Sunday, July 11, 2010

Vampires Rule, Twilight SUCKS!!!!

Yeah, you all heard me. TWILIGHT SUCKS!!!! What kind of mush for brains person would go for that show. I can summarise up the whole 4 books in 1 sentence: when girl doesn't have boy, she gets boy and when she's with boy, she wants another. It's not a vampire novel, it's a tory that happenes to have ugly vamps in it. That's about it. And the damn movies!!! Robert Pattyson is uglier than a pile of shit and his acting is worse than that. And below him on the acting panel is that dimm-witted girl, Kristin Stalwood. I've seen a piece of wood with better acting skills and emotions too.

What has happened to vampires. They have gone from sexy, bloodthirsty killing machines to lousy, moody sad creatures. I want Dracula's Legacy BACK. The new vampire novels have also gone down the drain. It is all plagarised from, gasp!, THAT book. And gets more boring page by page......

Have you guys heard, a 23-year-old New Zealand man was found dead in a movie theater Sunday after watching "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse," reported Paramedics who arrived on the scene to resuscitate him found no obvious injuries, which can only mean one thing: "Twilight" killed him. There are no coincidences in life.

The only mystery to solve is, was the unnamed gentleman a fan or critic of the beloved film franchise? Did he die in a burst of physiologically overpowering excitement, perhaps in the climactic battle between werewolves and vampires, or maybe just when Taylor Lautner first took his shirt off? Then again, he like so many male 23-year-olds outside the "Twilight" target demographic may have literally been bored to death. We'll never know.

In my opinion, the man died of boredom.

I miss my vampires. We, pre-Twilight vampire novel/movie lovers are true vampire fans and we demand a new standard of modern vampires.

Don't let twilight ruin the future of vampires.


Oh, and if you're a twifan............

Read a real Vampire book by Bram Stoker or Anne Rice. Vampires are about blood, war and companionship. NOT girly romance. I hope Lestate and Dracula drain you in your sleep


Post a Comment