iPhone: The Missing Manual

Thank you David Pogue!!! If you don't know who I'm talking about then you must not have an iPhone. Lol. Once again, I'm typing this from an iPhone :P but this time it's all mine!!! Well.... Not really..... Dad says he'll give the older one to me once SPM is over. Aw...... But at least I get to play with it at home =w=

Look!! I've learnt to split paragraphs!!! Lol

Anyway back to my subject. David Pogue wrote a book about the tips and tricks using the iPhone. A computer is better but an iPhone is a good alternative, in my opinion. I still can't add effects here though..... But then I like typing here because it's faster when you only use two fingers to type. XP. It's a better alternative than my dinosaur PC that takes forever to load. A simple flash game the hangs it for 5 minutes....

Anyway, I'm writing this just to test out my new skills. Lol. And also for the sake of typing because it's just so damn fun!!! Whee!!!

School these days are really boring. The only point in going to school is to collect exam papers and hang out with the gang. Oh, and listen to the nenek crapping. What did she say on Monday??? IDK. I remember she was yelling only. The word "babi" came up somewhere...or was it just my imagination. Nvm.

Next week is PMR. Torture for the form 3s, the rest of us can relax. This year's PMR holiday is most unfair, especially those born in 1992 . As far back as i can remember, I've been coming to school during PMR. During Form 2 i came. The reason has long escaped me. Then in form 4 I came again, this time for exam. Damn. I've never had a decent PMR holiday. This year the whole school (except for the form 3s) is getting holidays....... To quote Beshan "It's not FAIR!!" Make the form 4s come during those two weeks, let them suffer like we did last year!! Wakakakakakaka!!!!

P. S. Good luck to those taking PMR. NOW GO BACK TO YOUR BOOKS!
=w=

Need Some Help Read Last Line

Sunday. Last day of holiday. It's a bitter sweet moment. On one hand, I get to see friends, do something other than channel surfing and talk about Radiah's most recent cockup. On the other hand, no more sleeping until 1, full 10 hours sleep and Facebook morning till night XD. Dunno which I'll miss most tomorrow...... Tomorrow, the form 5s will know how badly we did in the trail. Even with all the tips and cheats (there were answer sheets in the boy's bathroom on the 2nd and 3rd floor) I have no confidence...... But then hopefully there will be no more exams...... Thks whole holiday I didn't even study XP. I'm typing this whole blog on my dad's iphone, that's why the is only one paragraph. I can't seem to work out where the "enter" button is......

Toilet Poem For Adam

Sitting here in stinking vapour,

I ran out of toilet paper.

Shall I leave of shall I linger,

Or shall I just use my finger.

But why should I.

Because if you think about it;

A toilet is used by us all,

To answer the universal call.

A toilet is the center of life.

A toilet is a place where you can think.

Whether love or computer games,

It's easier than to sit on the sink.

So next time you visit the loo,

Show it some affection.

And spare a thought for a poor sap,

Whose toilet paper has gone for disinfection.

I Have To Get Out!!!!

I’m stuck in this house.

I can’t take it anymore,

There’s no way out.

Where’s the door?

I need to get out,

What am I living for?

I feel like a sailor,

Longing for the shore.

I just want to flee!

Just to open the door.

The urge is too strong,

It's simply too hard to ignore.

Just go on and have some fun.

I’m trapped.

I won’t take my life with a gun.

But I've finally snapped.

I have to get out!

Just to walk on the lawn!

My heart feels like a drought,

My freedom forgone.

Why can’t I be out and about?

Here I must dwell.

I can’t take anything,

It’s a living hell.

It’s a sad song I sing,

Just as before,

Terrible memories will bring

The things I want to fight for.

Get out of my face,

I just can’t take it anymore.

Bored

Right now i am now officially the most bored person on this planet...

I am really bored being bored all the time.

I am so bored that the voices in my head are snoring.

Have I told you lately how bored I am.

I am sick of clicking the mouse hoping something interesting on Facebook will pop up and make today worthwhile...........STILL WAITING

I think whoever's reading this should write me a comment.

I am allowing my mind to wonder......hoping that it can find it's own way home.

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo Indigo November Gama ........ Bravo Oscar Romeo Echo Delta!!!!!

I am so bored today that I came this close to cleaning my room.

--^v--^v--^v--^v-_____^v--^v--^v-- For a second there, I was bored to death.

I went facebook to Stop my boredom ... IT DIDN'T WORK

Let's sing.. Its raining.. Its pouring.. And the holidays are just really boring!!

I warn you that reading this blog may result in having wasted several seconds reading this blog for nothing.

I hate this holiday.......

First day of holiday!!!!

Yay!! First day of holidays!!!! What a day. Since it's a cuti khas from the gov we don't have to replace it!!! Whoot!!!! That means i'm free on the 31st!!!! Whee!!!!

It seems like half of all Connaughtians were at Leisure Mall today, including our KP who drew so much attentions to himself. Or so he says. Either he perasaan or forgotten to zip his fly. IDK. Sounds like something our dear KP would do. Lol.

Today was one of the least boring holiday this year. Mel and I went to Grace's tiny apartment for a movie date. Iven was supposed to come too but got stuck in a toilet bowl. They had to use the Jaws of Life to get him out. Lol. Oh and another thing, the thing about Grace's house is that everything is scaled to fit short people. So this means that everything from the beds to the counter tops to the toilet are 40% smaller. Where Grace can stand straight, me and Mel had to crouch......... Lol

Anyway, those of use who were there watched, in sucession, Child's Play 1 (Grace screamed thrice), Poltergeist (Grace screamed once but was way louder), Thin Blue Line (I screamed all the way but with laughter) and The Exorcist (No one screamed but Grace hid behind pillows). I could have watched more but Mum had other plans......... Mel got to stay over. Whether lucky or unlucky I have yet to decide. She'd probably be sleeping on the sofa since there would be no way she would be sharing beds with Grace. Right now, they are probably watching Saw. I can picture Grace either hiding behind her pillow again or stopping blood circulation in Mel's arm. Or waking up everyone in Damai Perdana. Lol.

Oh yeah, all the 15Malaysia films have been released. These are my favourite ones.

Anything that has to do with sunat is always interestingly funny.

Babi! Babi! Babi! Babi! Babi! Babi! Babi! Babi! Babi! Babi! Babi! Babi!

Just plain funny listening to an idiot talk.

I think I was in his cab once..................

I would like to have seen those ads

Overall, I didn't reall like those 'artsy' films. IDK. I guess I'm not that deep. BUt they all were worth watching. Watch more la.

Halloween Party Cancellation and Friday Holiday

NO!!!!!!!!!

Why is Halloween cancelled!!!!! Damn John. He said we lack the manpower and commitment. Bah Humbug!!! Doesn't he know too many cooks spoil the broth. I'm sure he means well but damn....... He had to tell Xin Tian about the cancellation on her birthday. Nasty birthday surprise she got. No more Halloween means I'll be spending more time at home. Rotting away. Avoiding my books. Again.

Another shocker today is that this Friday has been declared a hoilday.

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To replace the day, we all have to go to school on 31st October. WTF. On that day I got plans la. I'm supposed to be at Bukit Jalil la.

Note: There will be no clowns. That I know of.

I'll be helping out in my stall in the morning and play the rest of the tome. Lol. But if it's a school day then die. Can go half day only. :( Last year's carnival was also on a school day. Someone doesn't want me to go.

My friend at the carnival last year.

Before

After

Sneaking Internet Time

Finally!!! Last week of exams and then HOLIDAY!!!!!

I really hope the Halloween party is still on. Last holiday I was so bored. I spent about 12 hours on the sofa doing finger exercises. Lolx. But if Halloween falls through, then I'd have something fun and productive to do.

I've done promotion in my tuition centre. The head was like "I thought christian don't like halloween!!" hahaha.......

Weight Loss Plan

A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her.

A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life.

She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me."

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot.

This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.

So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,"If I catch you, you are mine!!!"

He lost 63 pounds that week.

Who Was Jesus Really??

Who Was Jesus REALLY…

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother .
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn’t get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father’s business.
2. He lived at home until He was 33.
3. He was sure His mother was a virgin and His mother was sure He was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments the Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all -

3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do.

AMEN

The Donkey........

Some of the hardest exams are behind us, but that doesn't mean that I can relax!!! Still to come are Sejarah and next week Physics and Chemistry!!! So that would mean I can't blog as often as a used to.

But instead of leaving it to rot, I'll post some storis and anecdotes I've previously written and forgotten about or things I've found and saved.

Here's one!!!!

*The Donkey*


A priest entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The priest was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race
again, and it won again.

The local paper read:

PRIEST'S ASS OUT FRONT

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the
priest not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PRIEST'S ASS.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the priest to get rid of
the donkey. The priest decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the
next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of
the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the
donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE

The bishop was buried the next day.


The moral of the story is....

Being concerned about public opinion can
bring you much grief and misery...
And even shorten your life.
So be yourself
and enjoy life...

Stop worrying about everyone else's ass
and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!